Ok, so let's just start with the fact that I didn't exactly inherit that common "mixed chick" curl pattern from having a white dad and a black mom. I more so inherited my mom's side of hair texture, and she is 100% African by the way. My hair has always been quite thick and spongy, yet very long, which also equals to a "ouch ouch ouch" tangle nightmare.
I went through some serious changes with my hair since I lived with different sides of my family growing up. My white side didn't really know how to handle my texture, and they decided to cut it off. It became dry and brittle. I then moved back with my black side of the family and my sister nursed it back to health with heavy greasing and braids. I eventually got blessed with more than I could handle. I even passed it on down to my daughters.
My hair was so thick, that I couldn't imagine it falling out during my cancer journey. I went through some intense chemotherapy, and it was still holding on for a long time. And then, it slowly happened. It was a harsh reality. It started to thin, but it wasn't noticeable. I didn't want to see it all fall out and look like the Rugrats's Barbie (just Google it). So I decided to first start off with a sassy Kris Jenner hair cut.
And then, with a little encouragement for hubby, I just went for it! It didn't affect me at first. I'm glad I transitioned slowly from a lion bush to no hair at all. My hair was the biggest thing on my body. I was a part of my identity. But when you are fighting for your life, and something as simple as breathing becomes difficult, your hair is no longer as important as you might think after all. I adjusted slowly into accepting the new me. I just wanted to breathe and be here.
It's it growing back into a smoother, curlier texture now that I absolutely love. I grow impatient sometimes and wish it would all grow back already. This whole hair journey is still a roller coaster ride of emotions. I have days when I'm so happy of the low maintenance of my sassy cut, and days when I can't stand it. You become a totally different person inside and out while navigating through healing. I am learning to embrace it as it unveils. Some say "it's just hair". I say "how you feel about it changes on a daily basis".